May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself , a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure. Sometimes, left to our own devices, us humans will do stupid things — especially when horny. After scouring forums on which people described their weirdest masturbating tools a lot of plastic baggies, a lot of doll parts? Cleaning equipment isn't the best idea for your equipment. Depending on your vacuum, there's potential for mangling— some have a blade right inside the tube, designed to chop larger bits and pieces so it doesn't clog. According to The British Medical Journal, there have been numerous instances of penis-in-vacuum disasters. Also, the intense suction could leave blisters. Not to mention it's a device used to suck dust and dirt off of your floor. Your Dyson and your Johnson aren't friends.
10 Household Items to Masturbate With
2. Banana Peel
Yeah I used that. I poured most of the water out the slipped it up inside the bag, the way it wiggled felt unreal. I would take in the shower and use it with the showerhead. That makes it sound like I masturbated with bubbles. Hold on. It was one of these. I used it like a dildo and the shower head like a vibrator. I only got to do it once though because I busted him open. I was cleaning up that weird foam filler for weeks. I heard losing my virginity would hurt so I tried to pop my own cherry with a toothbrush before I had actual sex.
Pop Culture
Years ago I remember hearing a story about a girl I grew up with fucking herself with a cucumber. That tale always stuck with me until I stuck one in me. This was back in my pre-intercourse days so it wasn't as romantic an experience as I imagined it would be, but it got the job done. When you can't afford toys or the real thing's not available, you've got to think outside of your box girls, and get creative. The same goes for you guys, too. The following list has the ladies in mind, but the men out there can get off on them just as well. Special suggestions for dudes will come in a later article.
I remember the first time I stuck something up my vagina. I was 15, and it was a hair brush. I stuck it in, wiggled it around, and I loved it so much that I personified it by naming it Harry the Hairbrush. But thinking back on my solo days with Harry reminds me that I did a lot of things wrong, like not cleaning it yikes and not putting a condom on it. In fact, when you're masturbating with household items — or using them for sex with your partner — there's a lot you can do wrong. Spoiler alert: You should probably just buy a cheap vibrator , but, in the meantime, check out these must-know dos and don'ts if you're going to get naughty with something that's just laying around your house. Just because your toothbrush can't get you pregnant or give you the clap doesn't mean you should stick it up your vag protection-free. Giving yourself an added barrier from your household item will protect your lady parts from a plethora of bacteria that could cause infections.
