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I respect all doctors so much, they go through hell to be where they are and put up with so much stuff at their work too. Trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with someone at home or attempting to date someone you meet while on mission are both distractions. Be gentle with them and yourself. The day could come where she has to decide between her relationship with you and her church. We have lunch and have each others undivided attention while the kids are at school. I was in your same position years ago. You are brave and good people and seem to be raising wonderful children who will be lights for everyone with whom they come in contact. But you are setting yourself up to leave the Church more easily, and even if you agree the children will be raised Mormon, your kids will likely not continue to participate in the Church as adults. And her husband now is dead and she is left to wonder about their future. That is a goal worth fighting for.
With me it's less about taking my time and more about the mental drain. Several of the apostles have grown up in part member homes. Try to find out his schedule in detail. I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue the relationship, but I'd only recommend marrying her if she leaves the church because she discovers it's not true. Mormonism isn't a free ticket to heaven. It's called selfishness and inability to set priorities. Again, reading your blog definitely opened up my eyes to many things I was totally oblivious to. A patient of his went into labor, was having a rough time and he spent the next 32 hours at the hospital. He did call frequently, so I don't think its a good sign that your doctor guy isn't calling. She will insist on raising her children in the Mormon church.
